


Linger On

by blackfl4g



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-06-07 13:41:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6807325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackfl4g/pseuds/blackfl4g
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The fact that you are married, only proves you're my best friend, but it's truly, truly, a sin."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Linger On

**Author's Note:**

> kinda shitty. the ending is...like. haha anyway! ps.(the title, summary, is from Pale Blue Eyes by The Velvet Underground.)

It's always something, always. Maybe the atmosphere, maybe always being on the road, maybe- everything. But he ultimately knows what it is, the coincidence of meeting, the _everything_. How it just all happened, time kills sometimes. He looks around and thinks about life now, golden and peachy, no sarcasm. He loves the life he has now. Doesn't mean he doesn't get sad. He thinks about everything over the past few years mostly, feelings thought to be dead and gone are often zombies. Sometimes though, if he can swallow it, he thinks about Gerard.

Gerard has always been weird, darker in some times than others. He's a little bit different now actually, Frank still adores him none the less. They'll see each other buzzing around social media and sometimes they'll talk but not like they used to. It feels artificial, not real, just plastic covered conversations, plastic smiles. That's what he thinks about.

He remembers the Gerard who when he wasn't with anyone would get lonely and lay with him in his bunk. He remembers when Eliza happened and not even long after, Lindsey. He remembers the lonely Gerard who wanted Frank to sit in his lap and talk and shoot the bull. Of course, he thinks about whether it was real or it was just because he was lonely. Either way they're soft hurtful memories. He sighs deeply and looks at the blank notebook paper in front of him.

They've drifted apart oh yes you bet your ass they have. Frank sometimes wishes it wasn't like that. He remembers the 5 years they had together, like _together_. Not as a band but just them two. The apartment they shared, the hurt of everything falling apart without him realizing. He was so happy, in love, it happened out of nowhere. He didn't see it coming, just how Gerard threw him away.

Frank can't remember the last time he had really even hung out with Gerard, just them and no one else. Because he's greedy. Because if he was being honest if there was Gerard, there was Lindsey. Because they think whoever his friends are, are hers too. Which, yeah he and Jamia share but no he isn't Lindsey's friend, hes not of that group of friends. He doesn't appreciate their ignorance towards him and how he feels about Mr.I-Never-Wanted-To-Get-this-Close. He remembers that too...Gerard telling him that. Saying he was scared it would fuck everything up and yet by saying that it fucked up everything more than it would've alternatively.

If it's with the guys then it's fine because that's all he ever wanted but as seen, that lasted while it did. He misses the band just as much.

Frank would've proudly displayed their relationship, but ..it doesn't always work the way your heart wants.

It stupid, so fucking stupid that one person can make your future and also screw it up. He hates that. See he cant have regrets, he cant say 'Oh I wish we had never been together' because everything after would've never happened. Then he can't say 'I wish we were together' because its the exact same situation.  
-  
"Hey," he says quietly and eyes Gerard across from the couch, the light from the TV giving his face a soft blue glow. "Yeah Frank?" he says still focused on the tv, "Look at me idiot," Frank giggles.

Gerard turns and looks at him with a soft expression, happy, relaxed. That's how he describes everything about their relationship in those moments; happy, relaxed. Complete nirvana, nothing in the world could replace it or make him give it up.

"I love you," and he means it. He always fucking means it. He's never said 'I love you' to anyone and not meant it, those are words you have to mean in order to fucking say them. It's serious business, if you don't love the fucker then why lie?

"I love you too," he grins that wicked little pointy toothed smile and that's all Frank ever needed to feel okay. That everything was and would be okay, but y'know sometimes looks can really deceive. Like a dagger in his gut but no thanks he already has SIBO to feel like that.

This was a beautiful moment, it's forever imprinted in his memory just like everything else. The cushions on the couch got kind of fucked up and started moving just as they were. Frank bouncing vigorously in Gerard's lap and just fucking holding on. Thighs gripping at his hips as Gerard tightly holds onto his.

"Love you, fucker," Gerard bites at where Frank's shoulder and neck meet, leaving a dark red spot surrounded by teeth marks.

"I bet...I love you more," he pants while slowing down a bit and just stares at Gerard and grins. If his cock wasn't constantly rubbing away between their bodies he would just stay there forever.

"C'mon move," Gerard groans and starts trying to urge Frank into moving his hips.

"Fine," he growls and flipped them over Sometimes Gerard gets this freakish strength out of nowhere, and thats still a mystery. He's almost completely pinned down by Gerard between his legs who's slowly fucking into him again. He moves his legs up around his waist to lock him in and he groans thinking about how fucking hot it would be if they recorded it. Which is something they always talked about but never did, always too busy, to tires, and fearful of it leaking somewhere on the internet. 

"Your legs.....hips...tattoos-" Gerard cuts off in a whine as he fucks into Frank deep and rough. "I want to mark you, mine just fuck-" he breaks off again and Frank stares up at him, in love. He can see the hearts and stars in the younger mans eyes, filled with pure love and devotion. He hopes Frank see's the exact same thing because it's exactly what he's feeling.

"Love you," he whines into Gerard's ear and holds onto him tightly while his fingers dig into his back leaving scratches. He feels Gerard's stomach rub against his cock every time he moves and it's the perfect friction. He feels like maybe he doesn't even need to be touched to come. It feels like he's always in that situation because Gerard can just- he affects him physically like that. Some weird sex magic or some shit he has no idea.

The way Gerard's growling and whining mixing with his own whines and pants. He's such a fucking whiner, he pleads and begs and whines so fucking much. Together they feel perfect almost like they're meant to be, they fit together like puzzle pieces. The obscenities they're chanting in each others ears is something he never forgets it's like he will always remember every word down to the T most times.

Sometimes he feels guilty thinking about every time they've fucked or had some type of sexual encounter. So many fucking times he can't even count it, which is good he supposes. Don't get him wrong he's had nice married sex, but with Gerard... it was different. Crazy, frantic, sweet, rough, gentle, all at the same fucking time and it's the best he's ever had in his life. He's written songs about it but somehow even then they come out pleading and sad. Wow, orgasms sure can be emotional.

Last time they spoke was maybe a week or two ago. Shit. It's probably been longer than that. A Month? It's fine anyway he has small gigs and then Gerard has nerd conventions and meetings and whatever they call that creative art shit that he's too dumb to understand. That's the thing too....at least Gerard has someone who can talk to him about all of that stuff, someone who's smart and actually gets it. His stomach drops thinking about it, sometimes he feels like a stupid whiny brat kid in high school who is just trying so hard to impress someone who doesn't care.

It's true.

The fact he doesn't need to impress anyone is there but when it's someone you've thrown your heart to for the past 14 years of your life, it feels like it matters. Some sick part of him just wants to hear Gerard say he's proud of him or some sort of praise, it makes his gut kinda twist. In a sexual and affectionate way, he'd appreciate that. In his heart right now he's really craving something, _anything_ from Gerard. He thinks to himself, _desperate much?_

Right now he feels pathetic and stripped apart and thats when the time to write reveals itself. Like fucking hell he hopes this isn't another 12 tracks of nothing. There have been many many songs he's either scrapped right away or recorded then scrapped. There are other people he writes about too but he see's this as like a reservoir. It helps him dissect emotions towards certain things and people in his life. It's the source of the bullshit. Which is fine but yeah sometimes he'd like to be sad about something new. Maybe there's a meaning to it all, just how much he loves. He's not sure. He'd like to forget it and let it fade away into a scar, something to look at and remember bits and pieces from. But that's just not in his agenda apparently.

He can always wish.


End file.
